We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
