my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
