It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
