she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
