quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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