I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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