quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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