I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
