We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
