I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
