somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
