I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
