I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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