Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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