A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
