I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
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