He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
