he wants to bone in the snuggie
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
