she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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