He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
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