yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
