my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
