Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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