He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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