Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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