my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
