i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
