but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize
