Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
