But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
