It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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