if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
