you turned your livingroom into a bong?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
