I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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