I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
