she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
