I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
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