I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize