how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
