Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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