My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
