but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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