Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
