come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
