let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
