Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
