Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
