I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
