she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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