so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
