i need an iv and a liver transplant
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
