I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
