I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
