Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
