if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
one might say we're banned from that church
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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