Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
