Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
