i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
