I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
