The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
