Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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