this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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