Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
The adults are the big ones right?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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