the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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