Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
