I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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