just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
