She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize