bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize