You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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